24/07/2010 06:22:51
Internet generation ill-prepared for life
There's an article from yesterday's Telegraph that I have been asked to comment on CityTalk Radio in Liverpool which discusses children of this generation being cyber savvy but unprepared for the realities of life. The article claims that kids are being left ill-prepared for adulthood after spending hours on the internet instead of playing conkers, building dens and putting chains on "oily bikes", according to a leading headmaster Mr Gibson of Stoke College, Sufolk.
For me it's all about each family getting clear about what is and isn't acceptable to them, as we are all different but it is important to set limits, have boundaries and have consequences ready if limits are broken or taken advantage of.
My two kids are 17 and 15 and are of this cyber generation that I call "screenagers" but we have given them guidelines, and we have rules and we have passwords to the computer as well as rules about not sitting in front of the telly with their iphone or ipod ! I want to talk with them, laugh with them and spend time with them walking our dogs or messing around in the garden and eating around the kitchen table.
It's about each family being clear on their own values and having confidence to say what they expect to happen - kids need a gentle nudge and some clear guidance from you as their parents - so don't be afraid to give it to them.
You have the wisdom, maturity and bigger picture and know that life is all about balance - so assert your authority, be flexible and always be fair and consistent - help your kids work out what else they could be doing or exploring.
The Internet and screens are fabulous and wonderful in their correct place so embrace the balance between using them and hiding from real life and talk to your kids about the dangers as well as the pleasures of kicking a ball in a park while still keeping themselves safe, or discuss or explain about getting jittery from too many hours on the computer and losing their concentration and finding it difficult to sleep from over stimulation.
Here's the article
"An obsession with "virtual lives" - making friends and playing games online - is preventing children growing up properly, it was claimed.
John Gibson, chairman of the Independent Schools Association, said traditional outdoor play was a "primitive preparation" for adult life because boys and girls learned basic skills.
The comments come amid growing fears that over-exposure to new technology damages children's long term development.
Child psychiatrists recently claimed that teenagers were spending up to 16 hours a day playing games on-line, with "potentially severe consequences" for their education and social opportunities.
Speaking at the ISA annual conference in Manchester, Mr Gibson said that many children brought up in the 50s and 60s were given more freedom to play outside.
"I believe much of what we did then was part of a primitive preparation for adult life," he said. "Through games such as conkers, den-building or even putting the chain back on an oily bike, we practised the skills we would later find useful, and we learned to face success and disappointment in equal measure. When your life is lived through images constructed by a technical genius from Silicon Valley played on a high definition screen, I just feel it will be more difficult to experience those important rehearsals for adult life."
In recent years, concerns over "stranger danger" have led to a sharp decline in outdoor play.
A Government-backed report last year found a quarter of eight- to 10-year-olds had never played outside without an adult, while one in three parents refused to allow older children, aged eight to 15, to play outside the house or garden.
Mr Gibson, head of fee-paying Stoke College, Suffolk, said home had become a "prison" to many young people.
"Now, many of today's parents live in a shadow of fear, afraid to let their children out of their sight for too long least something terrible should befall them," he said. "When William Wordsworth wrote 150 years ago that 'shades of the prison-house begin to close upon the growing boy' I believed he was talking mainly about school.
"But today's prison-house is just as likely to be the home, a seductive, comfortable prison for boys and girls whose nimble fingers are adept at working their mobiles and computer games, but have never used them to play conkers."
Addressing the ISA, which represents around 300 independent schools, he said schools should "help children be well prepared for life."
He said schools had to abide by health and safety regulations, but insisted rules should not "cause our schools to wilt into a boring and ultimately futile educational wilderness that neither challenges or interests our children and is unable to prepare them fully for the world they will grow old in".
So grab a cup of coffee and just ask yourself:
What is a healthy amount of time to be using the computer in your opinion? ( to do homework, to chat, to explore)
What isn't an acceptable amount of time?
How can I encourage my kids to do other things , like learn a new hobby, develop a new skill, play outside more?
What would be the benefits to them if I helped, encouraged and guided them more in this direction?
How can I help prepare my kids for Life - what skills do they need to learn or develop?
How can I nurture their social skills and help them become more independent?
If I could wave a magic wand what would you like me to change?
What small step could you take today to start this process off?
So now what's stopping you?